Mike Lindell

14

Athlete Bio:
Conservative Mike Lindell is an anti-choice extremist who has spent years doing Donald Trump’s bidding, including spreading baseless conspiracy theories about the 2020 election. Trump has already expressed support for Lindell’s gubernatorial bid, making him a strong competitor in this year’s Trump Olympics.
Talents:
Worshipping the ground that Donald Trump walks on.
Awards
1
Conspiracy Curling
June 2025: Lindell was found liable in federal court for defamation for touting Trump’s baseless election conspiracy theories.
July 2025: Lindell admitted that he and Trump meet regularly to talk about election conspiracy theories. Because these conversations will improve the lives of working Minnesotans… right?
Lindell has been a consistent frontrunner in the Conspiracy Curling category, and we will be closely monitoring his 2026 performance.
2
Billionaire Bobsled
May 2019: Lindell praised Trump following the passage of Trump’s 2017 tax law, which was a massive tax giveaway for the ultra-rich and big corporations, eroded the U.S. revenue base, and failed to deliver on its promised economic benefits for working people. Thank you for nothing, Mike Lindell!
February 2026: While Minnesotans defended their community from violent federal ICE agents, Lindell traveled to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago for a fundraiser with Trump’s billionaire friends. Lindell receives a medal for being super out-of-touch with working Minnesotans!
May 2026: Lindell says he deserves a payout from Trump’s $1.77B slush fund for January 6ers and other MAGA extremists. For his breathtaking display of loyalty to Trump and his billionaire agenda, he might get a cut.
3
Anti-Abortion Alpine Skiing
To no one’s surprise, Mike Lindell has vocally and financially supported extreme anti-choice policies.
2019: Lindell produced and funded the anti-abortion movie “Unplanned” that spreads misinformation about abortion care and attacks organizations like Planned Parenthood.
3
ICE Dancing
January 2026: Lindell said he “absolutely” supports ICE actions in the state after several weeks of Trump’s ICE agents abducting, abusing, and unjustly detaining Minnesotans, including children.
3
Minnesota Madness
April 2026: Lindell wins a Minnesota Madness medal for his incredible display of mayhem, including being served a lawsuit while on TV.